So with this Chinese Lurgy doing the rounds I’m not able to post about any tramping exploits. It’s probably good timing as I’ve had a minor injury to take care of:
The Story:
I’ve lost count of how many things I’ve saved from breaking by catching them on my foot. It’s become a reflex reaction which has saved numerous cups and other items from smashing on the floor.
So… I had the angle grinder out to cut some tiles, and as I flicked on the wall switch it unexpectedly kicked into life, lurched out of my hand and the old instinct to save it kicked it.
It’s not a move I’d have chosen to have made given that it could have easily smashed my foot up if it was turned off!
It cut through the tongue of my shoe and left a nasty gash in my ankle.
🤢
Anyway, It’s not as bad as it looks and was stitched up in no time.
Amazingly I managed to go rock climbing two days later. Yep, it was a mission getting the shoes on, but it turns out that I can climb OK with 3 limbs.
The shoe got stitched up too as I felt it was wasteful to ditch them for some cosmetic damage.
Quick recovery
9 Days later: The stitches are now out (of my foot, not the shoe). I decided it was best to pluck them out myself. The idea of going to a doctors clinic whilst the Lurgy is doing the rounds was simply not appealing.
Three weeks after the event and I’m super happy to be running again 🙂 Now I just need this Lurgy thing to end so I can go tramping once more.
Feeling very lucky that it was just a flesh wound 😀
With self isolation being in vogue right now I decided to give it a go and see what all the fuss was about.
I shut myself in the cupboard under the sink with a stash of toilet paper (who needs kleenex?) and some shit beer.
It’s one of the best spots in the house for a lock down, the U bend trap has all sorts of interesting aromatic matter inside that can be digested.
Isolation
I’ve also discovered that Corona gives you bad breath. Have a look at the shitty brown fungus that grows from the dags left in the bottle after it it consumed.
Shit Weasel Science
I decided to digest some of the shitty brown muck and instantly felt much better.
After doing some further tests it turns out that I am a genius who is up there with the likes of Alexander Fleming, (Actually his name was Phlegming but got changed for political correctness 🙄)
The brown mould that grows in Corona bottles is a cure for the Virus.
Watch out for my brown pills that will soon be available for sale in honesty pots around the toilets in the Tararua Ranges.
Xmas is just another day, and the best days involve getting smelly and covered in muck.
Max, Bang and myself set off to visit North Ohau Hut for the night. Being cultured I know how to say Ohau. It sounds like “Or Hoe” so just remember “Bro or Hoe” and you’ll be give others the impression that you are refined and educated!
Norh Ohau Hut
It’s a 3 to 4 hour walk in from Poads Road walking up the river. The hut currently has a resident rat in the roof. According to the hut book a dead rat was also found in the water tank back in September. Drinking from the river is probably the better option right now (Unless you see a Shit Weasel Swimming in it!)
Here’s Johnny
There are many things I don’t believe about Xmas. The Idea that a fat man can crawl down a chimney seems even more far fetched than the dribble scribbled in the bible. Of course Pagan Shit Weasels can crawl through tight tunnels 😜
Bath Time
Speaking of being refined Max insisted that I take a bath so I jumped in the river. I’d suggest that DOC should put a warning up saying not to drink from it for a couple of days!
I also went for a swim which is much quicker than walking:
02/12/2019 This post got deleted from the Wellington Tramping Group blog as it was deemed to be offensive. Personally I believe in the right of freedom of speech, especially if it is done with humour .
“If people can’t control their own emotions, then they have to start trying to control other people’s behaviour.”
John Cleese: Political Correctness Can Lead to an Orwellian Nightmare
Zero time for the Thought Police!
The Deleted POST:
According to a recent NZ study, those who plod at a lower pace tend to have a smaller brain and show signs of early aging.
Of course I love reading that stuff as it flatters my ego. I dare say there is some confirmation bias going inside my big head too. But even without this report, it seems logical that if you are intelligent you’d want to be fit and healthy.
So do you make excuses? Or do you try to improve your tramping speed?
Let’s start with the excuses:
“It’s about the journey from A to B, not the destination”
Now I know many of you are happy with where you are at. That’s great and if you can always choose to stop reading this or become outraged 😜
It’s not a competition (well not all the time) and I dare say that most of you who tramp are in better shape then Joe average.
However, I have read a number of tramping blog posts recently with some rather lame justifications for being slow.
“I want to go out to the bush to enjoy it, not to endure it”
To me these thinly veiled statements translate to: “I lack the willpower and fitness to get outside my comfort zone”.
Getting out of your comfort zone can be seriously rewarding.
I often find the most amazing section of a trip is bit between “B” and “C”. If you are really slow and dumb (sorry couldn’t help myself there) you’ll never progress beyond “B” and get to “C” where you’ll see and experience some of best tramping locations.
Even if you are doing a shorter trip, you’ll have more time to play and recover, which is never a bad thing. So assuming you’re not a snowflake you’ll probably want to improve.
I also reject the idea that you don’t enjoy the journey if you are faster. This is just nonsense as you gain heaps of extra time play with. You then have the luxury of taking photos, relaxing or doing as you please.
How to improve?
First off, do more walking. I’m not talking about doing bigger trips straight away, you’ll probably pick up an injury! But do make sure you are walking on a regular basis, be it an evening stroll, or run. Plus make the most out of the weekends and gradually step it up.
Embrace the Suck
Get used to getting out of breath and feeling your legs burn. It doesn’t matter how fit you get, when you push hard it feels like you are slow and that you suck, especially when you are walking up hills.
Check your times
When you look at your watch and realise that you have smashed 10 minutes off your previous best time it feels great, you’ll also find that you start to recover faster as your fitness improves. It’s so worth putting the hard work in and maintaining it.
Be smarter with your gear
Don’t have a stupidly heavy pack. Last weekend I had to run back and get someone after they burnt out on a trip (Their ego got the better of them and they thought they were 2 grades higher than their true comfort level).
I took their pack which was needlessly heavy and already being carried by others in the group. Items which could easily have been made lighter or discarded included a 500ml bottle of sunscreen. 50ml would have been plenty! I’m not going to go into more detail here as there will be a trip report coming soon, but I’m sure you get the idea!
Another idiot friend (not naming them here but you know who you are and I love you for it) took fairy-lights on an Alpine trip for mood lighting in the hut. Upon me questioning why he replied;
“They don’t weigh much!”
I pointed out that it all adds up.
His pack was 5 Kilograms heaver then mine when I put it on the scales at the airport!
These fools normally struggle needlessly and end up getting tired, then slow the group down.
Not Convinced?
Feel welcome to add your opinion in the comment section. I promise that I won’t dismiss you as being stupid if you are a plodder 😇
Snowy hut is one of those unofficial huts in the Tararuas, although it is actually marked on the map if you know where to look. I decided to post a last-minute trip to make the most of the good weather on Saturday.
With less than 24 hours notice I was not surprised that I was the only attendee. I’m not sure that the tramper on his knees begging to Satan encouraged people to sign up but anything that involves 666 is Devil territory and not to be taken lightly!
The plan
It turned out to be an easy trip to navigate. Simply follow the DOC path to Waiotauru Forks, then walk up the stream enjoying the sunshine. You could try and avoid the stream to get there, but the river route is certainly the quickest way if you don’t mind getting wet.
Snowy River
And when I say get wet I mean it, there is a gorge that you have to swim up!
Baphomet
There was a black goat at the other end of the Gorge, this hoofed beast was clearly the sign of the Devil. For safe passage a deal should be made that involves sacrificing an animal.
Fortunately, I’d bludgeoned a possum to death the previous week by stamping on its head 10 times. I projected the thought to the goat and it disappeared from sight. With the trade done I could proceed through the gorge.
I double-checked all my dry bags were sealed inside my pack, chucked it in the river and swam upstream pushing it ahead of me.
Looking back at the gorge after a swim
After the gorge, there is a sweet sunny spot that looks good for camping. The grass is short, no doubt thanks to the local feral goats. It’s a good spot to towel off too.
Snowy Hut
Snowy Hut, in all its rustic glory
Just beyond the meadow is Snowy Hut, it’s easy to find.
From here I headed up to the ridge to 666 where I was expecting to find a shrine. Sadly it was unremarkable but I dare say that can be fixed with some time and effort.
Goblin Forest
The route is an easy one to follow and is not really what I call going off track. There is a clearly defined trail to follow up the ridge all the way to the top though a lovely section of Goblin forest.
I arrived at Elder Hut 6 hours after setting off from Otaki Forks to enjoy some fine views and a good sunset.
View from Elder Hut
Day Two
It was a white out and super windy, I procrastinated for 5 minutes about going back via Renata hut, but made the call too tough it out and take a beating going over the tops. If I had anyone else to look after I would have gone the other way as stopping for others in these conditions is simply dangerous.
It was really hard to stand up on Hector I focused all my energy on keeping a good pace and watching where I placed my feet.
I got to Kime Hut at 10:40 where I took an early lunch and enjoyed some much-needed food! After that, I could relax as the conditions eased as I dropped down towards Field hut
Monday I was super tired, my whole body ached and just wanted a rest. I can’t say I’ve ever felt that way after a trip.
Trip Times:
Day One: 11:40 Leave Otaki Forks 13:10 Waiotauru Forks 15:23 Snowy Hut. Dry myself after the swim! 16:49 666 18:31 Join path and find Orange marker 🙂 18:43 Elder Hut
Day Two: 07:50 Leave Elder Hut contemplating if the tops are a good idea as it’s blowing a bastard and a white out! 10:40 Arrive at Kime Hut and have an early lunch. 13:36 Back at Otaki Forks
Who the fuck would build a hut in an Avalanche path, let alone stay in one?
Welcome to John Tait hut. This is the spot where Marty, Laressa, and Max would have to spend the first night of our 5-day trip after flying in from Wellington, getting a hire car, then catching a boat across lake Rotoiti.
Stupid humans, Shit Weasels are much smarter, I slept in the toilets which are outside the danger zone.
The toilets are also far enough from the hut that you can’t hear Marty snoring. This is a massive bonus as he sounds like a demented walrus!
Toilet in the safe zone
Snow Shovels are for skids
You’ll probably see a shovel on the back of someone’s pack and think that they are responsible. Ask any mountain climber and they’ll tell you the shovel is for digging your comrades out after an avalanche or making a snow cave.
The truth is that they are actually to do Skids when the snow is soft! We all had a good play in the snow above Cupola Hut.
Rescued again
Logged out of here by Laressa
Most people think that Laressa is responsible. She has a reputation for looking after people. However, you may want to reconsider this notion. She signed all of us out of Cupola hut without noticing that I was missing. It was only when Max joked about putting me in the river for a wash that they noticed I was missing!
Max had to run back up to the hill to find me, it got quite emotional…
Lost and cold!
The Famous shit weasel
As we arrived back at John Tait Hut a very cool man named Wok asked “Where is the Shit Weasel?”
He already knew of my travels from the Hut books in the Tararua ranges. He showed us a UFO video and welcomed us to visit him in his Tattoo parlor in Nelson.
On to travers hut
Twats
After a traumatic day we arrived at Travers hut before darkness set in. I slept by the fire with Max to avoid Marty. Whilst I prefer toilets, frozen ones are not fun.
The next day we set off over the pass to find waist deep power snow…
Max and me smashed a path through the snow for the others to get suck in!
Mount Travers
Love the Snow
More Skid Marks
Marty takes a shit at West Sabine Hut
Marty takes a shit!
West Sabine Hut to Speargrass Hut
It was a long day and Marty’s was really starting to stink so I had to jump him, Laressa was getting a tad whiffy too but I was not getting any affection from her.
MOre love for the shit weasel
I got heaps of attention at Speargrass hut. Max was worried that I was going to be kid-napped!
Footnote: Shit Weasels are only interested in epic fit trips which are entertaining. You’ll not find any Leisurely Humdrum strolls on this site. If you are offended remember. I don’t give a shit, but can dish plenty out.
The Broken Axe Pinnacles are a jagged ridge line that run between the South King (1531) and McGregor (1540) in the Tararuas. The plan was to drive in from Wellington, cross them in one day, then return home.
You never quite know what conditions you’ll face on the tops this time of year. The forecast for Saturday said snow down to 1000 meters. How much snow was already there? How much would fall the day before? It really is guess work until you get up there.
Broken Axe Loop
The image above is from August 2018 when I crossed the Broken Axe Pinnacles in waist deep snow. It was a very hard day and we had to sidle around the gnarly bit as it was simply to dangerous with that much snow.
Anyway, I wanted to go back and cross the full ridge. With the forecast for Sunday looking great it seemed like the ideal time to give it another shot.
I picked Stirling up at 6am and we set off to the Holdsworth Campsite entrance. We took my little sports car as it’s the fastest way to get over the Rimutaka hill road. The more time we had for walking the better.
Whilst we both hoped to be able to get in and out in one day, it was always going to be a challenge, especially if there was deep snow or ice. We decided to take sleeping bags and extra food and leave them in Atiwhakatu hut. This way we had the option of staying if it got difficult.
The Shit Weasel heading up to Baldy
It took us 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the Atiwhakatu hut and dump the overnight gear. On the way in we joked about how much longer a large group would take to get there. Crossing the 1 person swing bridge one at a time was a classic example of faffing around.
We noticed a very plump lady who was walking in the other direction. It was obvious that she was as heavy as both of us combined so we concluded it was safe for both of us to use the bridge at the same time 😜
The Gnarly Bit
We set off to do the loop anticlockwise, mainly because it’s easier to climb up the pinnacles then go down them.
As it turned out the snow was not an issue. It was little more then a dusting and some old patches from a previous dump.
We climbed over without much trouble. Well, I had a bloody knee and Stirling a cut finger, but that’s just part of the deal when playing with a Broken Axe!
Video of the hard part:
It was a hard day, but highly rewarding. We headed back to Wellington and stopped for a beer and a burger whilst watching the 2nd half of the All Blacks game. Win win 😀
A very tired Shit Weasel and Stirling with blood on his face having finished a massive day tramp.
Statistics
According to Stirling’s iPhone: We walked 40KM, 50,000 steps and 500 floors.
Should you consider this trip?
Absolutely, but be realistic about how fit and fast you are.
The meetup group who did a day trip to Atiwhakatu hut the previous day took 5 hour to get there and back. We did this section in 2 hours 40 minutes with overnight gear.
Add an additional 7 plus hours of slogging over some technical ridge-lines along with heaps of climbing. You’ll have very tired legs at the end.
It’s also worth pointing out that a one day southern crossing is an easier option.
There are good reasons why I post so many last minute trips. The main one being you have no control over the weather. Planning an exact date weeks in advance normally leads to disappointment.
There are not many weekends where Mount Taranaki offers perfect blue skies, minimal wind and low risk avalanche conditions. The trick is to have a plan, then wait for the perfect time to present itself.
We drove up after work on Friday, parked up at Dawson Falls carpark, then walked about 1 hour to the Waingongoro hut for the night. We had it to ourselves which was sweet.
Up to Syme Hut
It’s decent hike up to Syme Hut. We got there for lunchtime, dumped all the overnight gear inside, then had a quick break and a feed before continuing…
Syme Hut
Heading up
The South face does not get as much sunlight as the rest of the mountain which tends to make the snow harder, especially the higher you get. It’s a great workout for your calf muscles and good for some toe pointing practice with your crampons.
Marty and Stirling after lunch.
Once you hit the slope behind the hut it’s a relentless grind up to the summit.
Marty taking a breath
The slope just goes and goes…
About half way up. Syme hut in the distance below.
Summit
Hitting the Summit
The last little section before the summit is probably the trickiest part and you hit it when you are gassed out! Here’s a video clip of me hitting the Summit:
We had a beer on the top to celebrate, plus had the luxury of lounging around on the top without getting cold.
An accomplished looking Shit Weasel!
Marty and Rendy were not far behind and I got some sweet video shots and photos of them both.
Marty Hitting the Summit
Next comes the fun part of going down…
I could have stayed up longer, but it’s a good idea to get back down before the sun sets!
There were a total of 3 groups up on the Mountain this weekend. Our party of five, four experienced Koreans and another group of three.
We made a good call as we were the first to hit the Summit and the first group back to the hut. The Koreans were not far behind us.
I was keen on doing some skids on the way down. I took the crampons off far to early and ended up hurtling down the hard ice at high speed. The Shit Weasel came flying out of my backpack pocket and and overtook me!
I had to speed up to save him.
A very lucky shit Weasel gets saved on the Mountain!
Ouch,Ouch, Bounce, Ouch!
I really should have known better and waited for the softer snow. I speed up bouncing down the hard ice , overtook the Shit Weasel, then folded my legs around him whilst pulling off a sideways self arrest!
The result was a bruised right buttock, elbows and shoulder blade!
The rest of the team were far more sensible and made it down unscathed.
I love bright colours in the snow. Rendy really pops in Pink!
The final group ended up coming down in the dark. One of them was not confident with the hard ice and was not sure footed with her crampons. The Koreans spotted this and gave them a rope.
Syme Hut Sunset
Two hours after we returned they were still up there! We could see the torches still high up and I was having discussions with the Koreans about a rescue mission to get them!
Fortunately they got back before our chosen deadline time. I was feeling quite beaten up after saving the Shit Weasel and really wanted a quite night!
Sunday
Sunrise over Ruepehu
It was an early rise to watch the sunrise. Pure magic to watch the sun pop up from behind Ruepehu. Then back into the hut for a coffee or two to warm up.
More Skids!
Sliding is always the quickest way down a mountain! But we had soft snow this time. Arguably I could have started higher up, but was still feeling tender from the previous day!
Please note: Alpine trips are only suitable for those that have previous experience using ice axe and crampons. Risk management is vital to have an incident free trip.
There will be some blog posts coming soon that cover Snowcraft courses for anyone interested.
Laressa, Marty, The Shit Weasel and myself set off to Nelson Lakes for a 3 day weekend organised by the NZ Alpine Club.
All 15 of us had attended the Snowcraft level one course on Mount Ruapehu back in July. This weekend was all about practicing what we had learnt and putting it to good use.
Naomi & Jamie (One of the few photos I took on Friday)
The forecast for Friday was not great, but not bad enough to stop us going. The biggest issue we had was waist deep powdery snow. I got my foot stuck in the snow at one stage and needed some help in getting out. Thankfully Naomi was there to help dig it out with her ice axe!
It turned out to be very hard day slogging through the snow. We were putting in big efforts for small distance gains.
Then came the wind along the exposed spots on Roberts Ridge, it was a challenge to stay upright at times. We were all quietly relieved when got to the shelter of Angelus Hut under torch light!
I pulled out my old trick of sneaking a mattress from the the dorm room to sleep by the fire. It was a double win, not only was it warm, there was also the bonus of not suffering Marty’s snoring 😜
Day 2: Angelus Peak
Saturday Morning
Derek (the hyper energetic organiser) was the first one up. The sky was clear and we both decided it would be a good idea to climb back up the ridge to watch the sunrise whilst the other were still sleeping.
One goal I had for the weekend was to get a decent photo of Angelus hut. The previous week I discovered that our Meetup cover photo was not taken by anyone in our group. It had simply been taken from the internet so had to be updated.
Angelus Hut with Derek doing the Jesus thing on the roof
We were back to the hut for breakfast before setting off on our mission to summit Angelus Peak.
After the previous day it was an absolute joy to have sun and hard snow. On went the crampons and off we set.
Dena and Jack early Saturday Morning
It’s a good climb up and quite steep in places. I was quite keen on taking the direct route by crossing the frozen lake, but the others were not sold on the idea! 🙄 I got out voted so went around and everyone was in their comfort zone.
We took the direct route to the top, it’s breath taking!
Jack about to hit the Summit
The view from the top was simply amaze-balls. It’s a magical feeling being on a mountain and the smile on The Shit Weasels face said it all.
The Shit Weasel looked very happy having made it to the Summit of Angelus Peak
Going up is all about cardio. Going down however can be about getting loose, especially if the terrain allows for some skids:
After all the fun it was back to the hut for lunch and more fun.
The Shit Weasel likes Vodka!
The Shit Weasel hit the Vodka early and proved that Tramping and Alcohol can be a great mix, despite what the WTMC thought police may try and tell you!
Everyone loves the Shit Weasel!
Day 3
There was a front due to come in on Sunday so we were keen to get an early start. I don’t think anyone wanted another day like Friday. The good news was the snow was still firm and the weather was great to start off with.
It’s amazing how much difference the conditions can play. We were back at the car park before 12pm. Our speed was about 3 times as fast as the trip in and felt effortless in comparison.
Front coming in towards the end of Roberts Ridge…
A frigging awesome trip. A huge thank you to Derek and Niomi for making it happen, along with a nod to everyone else for being great company and making it a special weekend.
If any of you are keen on Alpine trips I highly recommend the NZ alpine club. I’ll make sure a post gets put up about the Snowcraft course soon. Feel welcome to introduce yourself to me if you have any questions about getting involved in this type of trip.
The Adventures Of The Shit Weasel 